Sunday, March 29, 2009

Yard Sale 2.0


A year ago today my friends Jared, Michael, and Chad joined me in Vail to experience my quasi first time skiing adventure. I thought it would be nice to repost a blog I wrote shortly following that experience:

[March 30, 2008]

Have you ever wanted to see 260 pounds of love falling down a mountain? Well if you happened to be in Vail, CO this weekend you would have seen just that. I, of course under peer pressure began my first skiing venture at the top of the mountain with hardly any experience (thought I was too good for lessons). I started on the green slopes just trying to maintain balance and work on turning… halfway down the mountain I could still do neither. Actually I am becoming quite fluent in the skiing lingo, mostly due to the numerous seven and eight year olds skiing past me and yelling things such as, jerkface, yard-sale, totally newbie, tourista, and try the blacks dude…haha. Anyhow, I figured out that "yard sale" in ski lingo meant every time I wiped out my skis, goggles, camera, and poles were scattered about across the path similar to things being scattered in the yard for a sale. Of course only I would be so lucky to ski the mountain twice without ever arriving at the bottom of the mountain. About halfway down I so frustrated that I decided to take off the skis and walk down and being the smart person that I am I devised a pretty cool plan. I flagged down one of the EMT skiers and told them that I broke my ski and if they could give me a ride via snowmobile to the bottom I would be most grateful. –They didn’t take the bait, so I choose plan B. Just about 200 yards of where I was standing I saw an unusual ski lift back up to the top of the mountain. It didn’t strike me as unusual so I thought id ride back to the top and take another ski lift to the bottom to end this cold day in hell. Plan B was not so great. I ended up at the pinnacle of the mountain starring at two double back diamonds, winds of about 35mph, and alone. Needless to say I basically crawled my way down the damn mountain and at one point I was sliding on my ass faster than a skier (im lucky to be alive). I guess this leads me to the conclusion that skiing might not be my thing. Now, a day after this event I am absolutely positive skiing is not my thing in fact I never desire to do it again, I have decided to keep the curtains closed in my hotel room just so that I don’t have to see the damn mountain. This morning I spent 3 hours in the hot tub praying that God would have mercy on my frail body and just after lunch I thought was going to spend the rest of my life on the toilet because I was so sore I couldn’t get up. All in all it’s an experience I could have done without, but I did it.

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